Our Love Story

Every couple has a story they could share about how they met.  

(I personally love hearing them!)  

Well, here's ours:

In 1988 I applied to a college I never really had any hope of actually getting into.  

I was a fairly average student in high school.

When I graduated in 1987 I decided to put off college and spend a year in New York being a nanny.  

I grew up a lot there, and decided to reach for the stars and apply to Brigham Young University. 

Miraculously, I got in!  When I finished my commitment in New York I moved to Provo, Utah.  

I began school in June, as I was accepted to the summer term.  

I don't remember much about that term. 

Fall semester was a lot different than summer, that was when all the cute guys came.  

Which seemed very important having just returned from a year long dating hiatus. 

Within weeks I had met my "college crush", and no, it wasn't my husband.  

My future husband didn't arrive to BYU until the block began.  

By that time I was fully invested into my current romance, which was progressing quite nicely. 

I remember the first time I laid eyes on my future husband.  

He was sitting behind me in church- holding another girl's hand. 

'What the heck!'  (I thought) 

I had literally just gone on a double date with that girl- and she seemed really into the guy she was with...so...who was this new cute guy she's holding hands with?  

That was it.  I didn't think anything more about him. 

That girl, and that cute guy- they began dating, and ironically, she lived right next door to me. 

The guy I was progressing quite nicely with- well, he lived across the hall from, 

you know-that cute guy, (My future husband). 

I found it very odd when that cute new guy encouraged the girl he was dating to go on a mission. 

 I sure didn't see that coming.  

But he did, and she went, another thing I didn't see coming.

 Weird.

After that girl left on her mission that cute guy became friends with my roommate. 

 I don't know how that happened.  

One day he just started showing up at our apartment.  I found him very intimidating.  

He was proper and smart.  I guess he was a "Southern Gentleman", but it made me uncomfortable.  

There was something about him that made me feel very.... unrefined.  

I taught aerobics while I was at BYU, and it seemed like I was always in gym clothes every time I saw him. He always looked very put together, like he was going somewhere important.  

One day I was walking past the Cougar Eat, and saw him walking towards me.  

I changed directions so I wouldn't pass him.

He tells me now that at that same moment the teacher he was walking with pointed to me and said,

"That girl has a lot of light, you should date her."  

To which he says that he replied, "I'd like to, but she has a serious boyfriend."   

(I still wonder if that part of the story is true.)  

I found BYU to be a lot more difficult than I imagined.  

I was working multiple jobs and my grades reflected that.  

I heard that Delta Airlines was hiring flight attendants.  

I loved traveling.  

I applied, interviewed, and got the job.

This would mean I would leave BYU, as well as the guy I thought I was progressing nicely with.    

Obviously it wasn't progressing as nicely as I'd hoped because he had never mentioned the prospects of marriage with me.  

One day, that cute guy, (my future husband), came over to see my roommate.  

He asked where I was going to train for the airlines.  

I became self-conscious, and somehow muttered out, "In Atlanta, Georgia".  

He then told me that he's from Georgia and would be home for the spring.  

THEN he said that I should give him a call! 

Yeah, right!  Had he not sensed my awkwardness around him?

Why would he even suggest such a thing?  Did he even know my name?

Then one night I was sitting in the hot tub with the guy I now only wished I was progressing nicely with, when that cute guy, my future husband, walked across the pool area. 

The guy noted, "I really like that guy...he doesn't say much, but when he does say something, it really means something." 

Hm.  What was that feeling that just went through me?  

Why did those words mean something to me? 

What was it about that moment that sent a message to my brain that said, 'Yeah, that is kind of cool'?

I still don't know- but it did, and it still does now.  

By April I was in Atlanta, Georgia training to be a "Sky Goddess".  (That's what we called ourselves.)

One day I got a message that he had called for me at the training center.

I tried to call him back but when his mom answered the phone I could barely understand what she was saying due to the fact that her southern accent was so thick.  

She must have understood that I was calling for him, because eventually we ended up on a date.  

Our date was awkward.  

He talked about that awesome girl on the mission. 

I talked about the guy who I was now not progressing with at all.   

Let's just say there was absolutely NO hint of love potential here.  

I ended the flight attendant training, he came to the airport to see me off, 

and I decided to take an earlier flight.  

I stood him up.  Wow.  Can you believe this story ends in marriage?

I can't either, but it really does!

I went home and began my new life of flying.  

This was a whole new world for me, and to be honest, it was a lonely world.  

Meeting nice Mormon guys to date wasn't as easy as it use to be.  

A girl I was flying with introduced me to a Mormon boy she knew, we started dating,

and within weeks he asked me to marry him.  YIKES!!

Now- can you believe that I actually accepted this proposal?  Me neither, but I did.        

I think I might have been a little heartbroken over that guy who I was no longer progressing with.  

This is what they usually call a "REBOUND" relationship.  

Two weeks before we were going to get married I came to my senses and called off the wedding. 

I'm not going to comment anymore on that time or experience.

I will simply refer to it as "temporary insanity".  

Let's just say that I was distraught.  I felt genuinely sad.  

I questioned myself and my ability to think right. I also felt very alone.  

I now had to move into an apartment that I didn't want, that I had signed the lease on.

 I was stuck in a situation that I didn't want to be in.  

Thankfully, I knew someone else who was kind of stuck in a rut...

it was that roommate that the cute guy, my future husband, had become friends with.  

I called her and she happily agreed to come and live with me in Salt Lake City.  

Moving us both to Salt Lake City was the only thing left to accomplish.  

She asked that cute guy, my future husband, to help us out.  

He agreed and took the bus to Salt Lake City.  

On moving day my roommate suddenly had plans.   WHAT?!?!

I ended up picking up that cute guy, my future husband, from the bus stop. 

He and I spent the entire day moving us into that dreaded apartment- without my roommate. 

THAT'S when we started to become friends.  THAT was THE day! 

I think he felt bad for me.  

When he heard I had been engaged he was surprised.  

Honestly, I don't know what he thought about me right then.  

Just months earlier I had completely ditched him at the airport.  

But he never even mentioned that! 

Within weeks he was not my roommates good friend anymore... he was now my good friend.  

He would call me to go to football games with him in Provo.  I liked that.

I would never let him pay for anything.  

I was determined that this wasn't a date.  (I wanted to be sure that he knew this.)

Plus, he was a starving college student and, hello, I was a working woman.  

I didn't want him paying for me.  

One night after the game we drove to the Provo temple to talk.  

That seems a little odd looking back on it now.  I wonder what made us go there. 

This was the first time that we talked about our life dreams. 

We talked about a lot of things, things other than the girl on a mission- or the guy I didn't progress with in college- or even the ugly situation I had just been in.  

We just talked about life and goals, and our love for God.  

I dropped him off and for the first time, we hugged each other good-bye.  

I guess we did because we had had a good day, and a really good conversation.  

I left to go back to Salt Lake City.  It was late.  I was always afraid of falling asleep at the wheel 

 so I began to pray, which I often did as I drove from Provo to Salt Lake City.  

I talked to my Father in Heaven about what I should do with this new life I had created.  

Should I quit the airlines and go on a mission?

Should I move back to Provo, or should I stay where I was?

Suddenly I felt something tell me in my heart, "You should date West." 

"West" was the cute guy, (my future husband's), name.  

That feeling was not expected.  Nor was it desired.  

How could I date West after just ending a very bad rebound catastrophe?  

Did I even think of him that way?  I wasn't sure.  I'd never allowed myself to.

Before long I was crying in the car.  

I questioned my own ability to discern feelings properly, 

which was something I had always felt pretty confident in...until now.  

  

How could I date this once intimidating- cute guy- 

who I had determined was waiting for a missionary? 

Was that even appropriate to consider?

I went home and did what any smart girl would do- 

I wrote that cute guy, my future husband, a letter and told him I didn't want to see him anymore. 

Yeah, that's exactly what I did.  

 But I worried about sending him the letter after such a wonderful night.  I called him the next day to tell him about the letter and that I wanted to explain why I couldn't see him anymore-- 

because... well...that's what silly girls do I guess... 

WHO KNOWS!!

But before I had the chance to explain the letter, he said, 

"Kristi, I wrote YOU a letter last night as well!" 

That cute guy, my future husband, continued... 

"After you left me last night I had a very distinct impression come to my mind-

 that we should start dating." 

Well.... the rest is history. 

We didn't see each other again until Thanksgiving, a few weeks later.  

When I arrived in Provo he walked up to me, took my hand, and has been holding it ever since. 

We got engaged in January, and were married April 6th, 1990.  

Life has been total bliss ever since.....Ha!  As if that's even possible!  It's not. 

Let's face it, marriage is hard work!  It doesn't matter if it's "meant to be" or not.

You could have a heavenly messenger literally come and tell you that this person is absolutely 

THE ONE and THE ONLY person that God wants you to marry, 

and you will still have to work at marriage every day of your life.  

That's all part of The Plan, God's Plan.   

We had never had a single disagreement the day we got married.  

We had never dated while living in the same city. 

We had a lot of learning and growing to do.

But none of that mattered, because we made a decision to do it together.  

  I made a personal decision to take a chance that I wasn't actually insane, and I made a personal decision to believe that God truly was in the details of my life, even my dating life.  

What if I hadn't dated the guy I was progressing nicely with?

What if he'd wanted to progress the same way that I did?

What if I hadn't suffered temporary insanity and been engaged to someone I didn't love? 

Had just one thing been different- would this story have ended differently? 

See how things all worked out?  

I really love our love story!

The truth is that I would go through it all over again in order to end up with that cute guy, 

who would end up being my husband-- forever!   

Happy 25th Anniversary to My Best Choice Yet!!

"A Southern Boy", I had you defined, and I was a silly girl, not quite yet refined.

We began as strangers, so intimidating- crossed paths, it seemed fate was simulating.

Friends at first, therefore, we could not see- 

the many evidences of serendipity.

But once our love was undeniable, the signs of marriage were quite reliable. 

It began with memories I will never forget, and a personal choice I will never regret. 

One from Mars and the other from Venus meant 25 years of learning between us. 

The highs, the lows, and the in-betweens- all with a cause, all with a means.

We are fallen creatures, learning our way- about how to love, about how to obey.

But the one thing we both had from the start was love for God with all of our hearts. 

Without that how could there ever be, an eternal union between you and me?

Children, work and decisions to make, let's face it, there are times when we break.

This journey in life can be very rough, this "sweat of your brow" stuff really is tough!

Take heart, my love, it will all come together, there is nothing in life that we cannot weather. 

No burden too heavy, no barrier too wide, no trial too great, with you by my side.

There are great times ahead!  I know that it's true.  

I believe "Our future is as bright as our faith," as do you.

Someday I trust we'll look back on this time, and wish we could interject reason and rhyme.  

We'll be older and wiser, probably happier too.  Hopefully we'll go back to just me and just you.

The stage will be different, as it's always changing, and perhaps our lives will require rearranging. 

It's normal, how awesome!  It will mean we're alive!  

Yet another fun stage for which we will survive! 

Know that I'm here, you are never alone.  I am grateful and honored to call you my own.

Friends at first, better friends at last- I will love our future as much as I've loved our past.

Did I love you back then, it's so hard to say, as it feels as though it was a lifetime away. 

Who were you then, and who was I?  We really didn't know, that's hard to deny.

But all of the "who's" and all of the "when's" mean nothing because I would choose you again.

It began with memories I will never forget, and a personal choice I will never regret.  

Good, Better, Best- Dallin H. Oaks

Our Family Deserves Our Best!

Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty- Robert D. Hales

The key to strengthening our families is having the Spirit of the Lord come into our homes. 

The goal of our families is to be on the strait and narrow path. 

 Countless things can be done within the walls of our homes to strengthen the family. May I share a few ideas that may help identify the areas that need strengthening in our own families. I offer them in a spirit of encouragement, knowing that each family—and each family member—is unique. 

• Make our homes a safe place where each family member feels love and a sense of belonging. Realize that each child has varying gifts and abilities; each is an individual requiring special love and care. 

• Remember, “a soft answer turneth away wrath” (Prov. 15:1). When my sweetheart and I were sealed in the Salt Lake Temple, Elder Harold B. Lee gave us wise counsel: “When you raise your voice in anger, the Spirit departs from your home.” We must never, out of anger, lock the door of our home or our heart to our children. Like the prodigal son, our children need to know that when they come to themselves they can turn to us for love and counsel.

 • Spend individual time with our children, letting them choose the activity and the subject of conversation. Block out distractions. 

• Encourage our children’s private religious behavior, such as personal prayer, personal scripture study, and fasting for specific needs. Measure their spiritual growth by observing their demeanor, language, and conduct toward others. 

• Pray daily with our children. 

• Read the scriptures together. I remember my own mother and father reading the scriptures as we children sat on the floor and listened. Sometimes they would ask, “What does that scripture mean to you?” or “How does it make you feel?” Then they would listen to us as we responded in our own words. 

• Read the words of the living prophets and other inspiring articles for children, youth, and adults in Church magazines. 

• We can fill our homes with the sound of worthy music as we sing together from the hymnbook and the Children’s Songbook. 

• Hold family home evening every week. As parents, we are sometimes too intimidated to teach or testify to our children. I have been guilty of that in my own life. Our children need to have us share spiritual feelings with them and to teach and bear testimony to them.

 • Hold family councils to discuss family plans and concerns. Some of the most effective family councils are one on one with each family member. Help our children know their ideas are important. Listen to them and learn from them. 

• Invite missionaries to teach less-active or nonmember friends in our homes. 

• Show that we sustain and support Church leaders. 

• Eat together when possible, and have meaningful mealtime discussions. 

• Work together as a family, even if it may be faster and easier to do the job ourselves. Talk with our sons and daughters as we work together. I had that opportunity every Saturday with my father. 

• Help our children learn how to build good friendships and make their friends feel welcome in our homes. Get to know the parents of the friends of our children. 

• Teach our children by example how to budget time and resources. Help them learn self-reliance and the importance of preparing for the future.

 • Teach our children the history of our ancestors and of our own family history. 

• Build family traditions. Plan and carry out meaningful vacations together, considering our children’s needs, talents, and abilities. Help them create happy memories, improve their talents, and build their feelings of self-worth. 

• By word and example, teach moral values and a commitment to obeying the commandments. 

• After my baptism and confirmation, my mother drew me aside and asked, “What do you feel?” I described as best I could the warm feeling of peace, comfort, and happiness I had. Mother explained that what I was feeling was the gift I had just received, the gift of the Holy Ghost. She told me that if I lived worthy of it, I would have that gift with me continually. That was a teaching moment that has Family Foundations Reading Packet 182 lived with me all my life. 16. Teach our children the significance of baptism and confirmation, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, partaking of the sacrament, honoring the priesthood, and making and keeping temple covenants. They need to know the importance of living worthy of a temple recommend and preparing for a temple marriage. 

• If you have not yet been sealed in the temple to your spouse or children, work as a family to receive temple blessings. Set temple goals as a family. 

• Be worthy of the priesthood which you hold, brethren, and use it to bless the lives of your family. 

• Through the power of the Melchizedek Priesthood, dedicate our homes. 17. Resources are available outside the home. Wise use of them will strengthen our families. 

• Encourage our children to serve in the Church and community. 

• Talk to our children’s teachers, coaches, counselors, advisers, and Church leaders about our concerns and the needs of our children. 

• Know what our children are doing in their spare time. Influence their choice of movies, television programs, and videos. If they are on the Internet, know what they are doing. Help them see the importance of wholesome entertainment. 

• Encourage worthwhile school activities. Know what our children are studying. Help them with their homework. Help them realize the importance of education and of preparing for employment and self-sufficiency. 

• Young women: Attend Relief Society when you reach your 18th birthday. Some of you may be reluctant to make that transition. You may fear that you won’t fit in. My young sisters, this is not the case. There is much in Relief Society for you. It can be a blessing to you throughout your life. 

• Young men: Honor the Aaronic Priesthood. It is the preparatory priesthood, preparing you for the Melchizedek Priesthood. Become fully active in the elders quorum when you are ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood. The brotherhood, the quorum instruction, and the opportunities to serve others will bless you and your family throughout your life. 18. Every family can be strengthened in one way or another if the Spirit of the Lord is brought into our homes and we teach by His example. 

• Act with faith; don’t react with fear. When our teenagers begin testing family values, parents need to go to the Lord for guidance on the specific needs of each family member. This is the time for added love and support and to reinforce your teachings on how to make choices. It is frightening to allow our children to learn from the mistakes they may make, but their willingness to choose the Lord’s way and family values is greater when the choice comes from within than when we attempt to force those values upon them. The Lord’s way of love and acceptance is better than Satan’s way of force and coercion, especially in rearing teenagers. 

• Remember the Prophet Joseph Smith’s words: “Nothing is so much calculated to lead people to forsake sin as to take them by the hand, and watch over them with tenderness. When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, what power it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 240). 

• While we may despair when, after all we can do, some of our children stray from the path of righteousness, the words of Orson F. Whitney can comfort us: “Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving [mother’s and] father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for [our] careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with [our] faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God” (Orson F. Whitney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, 110).

Christian Courage- Robert D. Hales

In defending our beliefs on family we must defend them with love.  

Elder Hales said that "Opposition brings Opportunities".  

Though he was using this as an example when it came to worldly persecution, I believe it's true within the relationships and circumstances within the family as well.  

The family is under attach.  

If we use this same counsel and perspective within our families we will begin to see things very differently. 

I love this book!

One of the questions that the author asks is:

"Could it be that the PROBLEM is really the SOLUTION?"

I have reflected on this over and over again.  

With this is mind we could change Elder Hales words to...

"Is it possible that this opposition will bring about needed opportunities?"

A few years ago my husband and I were really struggling.  

Look, marriage is difficult, I don't think anyone would deny that.  

It takes work and there are ups and downs.

Financially things were strained.

Our children were difficult at this stage.  They were also expensive!

We have a disabled child that required a lot of us emotionally. 

We were so busy with work, family and callings, we had very little time to spend together.  

We were pushing ourselves, and sometimes we each felt VERY unappreciated.  

This was not a short period of time.  There wasn't a quick fix! 

It was a stage of life, and stages don't just end because we wish they would. 

Financially things got worse. 

Instead of making our relationship worse we found that we started praying more fervently together. 

Individual burdens became more evident, resulting in compassion felt more sincerely.  

We became more unified, we made goals, and there was more praying and fasting between us. 

Not just for ourselves, but for each other.
We stopped thinking about ourselves, and started thinking about each other.

Our relationship strengthened.  Priorities became more clear. Humility and gratitude grew.

Miracles came.

Not the kind of miracles we expected, but miracles just the same.

(I want to make sure that I BOLD that because it's important to
remember that miracles don't always come in the package we want or expect).  

So how about that though...

The solution really was found in the problems.  

The opposition really did bring about opportunities. 

  

Learning Laboratory, sometimes relationships need healing.

Let's face it, no family is perfect and relationships are complicated.

I honestly think that ALL relationships need healing at one time or another. 

Some relationships maybe more than others-- 

this is normal, and it's simply part of life.

Elder Bednar described this life as a "learning laboratory".

"a learning laboratory and a workshop in which we gain experience as we practice on each other in the ongoing process of “perfecting the Saints.”

In our learning we sometimes feel pain, and sometimes we inflict pain.   

There are very few times when it is appropriate to cast aside a relationship because of hurt.  

It's important to take healthy steps to healing.  

I recommend good reading, as maybe a first step, to help us see things differently.  

It's important to have TOOLS, and we have so many great and inspired resources today to get them. 

To The Fathers in Israel- Ezra Taft Benson

Ten Prophetic counsels for Fathers-

1. Give father’s blessings to your children. Baptize and confirm your children. Ordain your sons to the priesthood. These will become spiritual highlights in the lives of your children.

2. Personally direct family prayers, daily scripture reading, and weekly family home evenings. Your personal involvement will show your children how important these activities really are.

3. Whenever possible, attend Church meetings together as a family. Family worship under your leadership is vital to your children’s spiritual welfare.

4. Go on daddy-daughter dates and father-and-sons’ outings with your children. As a family, go on campouts and picnics, to ball games and recitals, to school programs, and so forth. Having Dad there makes all the difference.

5. Build traditions of family vacations and trips and outings. These memories will never be forgotten by your children.

6. Have regular one-on-one visits with your children. Let them talk about what they would like to. Teach them gospel principles. Teach them true values. Tell them you love them. Personal time with your children tells them where Dad puts his priorities.

7. Teach your children to work, and show them the value of working toward a worthy goal. Establishing mission funds and education funds for your children shows them what Dad considers to be important.

8. Encourage good music and art and literature in your homes. Homes that have a spirit of refinement and beauty will bless the lives of your children forever.

9. As distances allow, regularly attend the temple with your wife. Your children will then better understand the importance of temple marriage and temple vows and the eternal family unit.

10. Have your children see your joy and satisfaction in service to the Church. This can become contagious to them, so they, too, will want to serve in the Church and will love the kingdom.

Oh, husbands and fathers in Israel, you can do so much for the salvation and exaltation of your families! Your responsibilities are so important.

Remember your sacred calling as a father in Israel— your most important calling in time and eternity—a calling from which you will never be released.

May you always provide for the material needs of your family and, with your eternal companion at your side, may you fulfill your sacred responsibility to provide the spiritual leadership in your home.

To The Mothers in Zion- Ezra Taft Benson

10 Prophetic Counsels for Mothers:

With love in my heart for the mothers in Zion, I would now like to suggest ten specific ways our mothers may spend effective time with their children.

Be at the Crossroads. 

1.  First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going—when they leave and return from school, when they leave and return from dates, when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen. In Proverbs we read, “A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” ( Proverbs 29:15 ). Among the greatest concerns in our society are the millions of latchkey children who come home daily to empty houses, unsupervised by working parents.

Be a Real Friend. 

2.  Second, mothers, take time to be a real friend to your children. Listen to your children, really listen. Talk with them, laugh and joke with them, sing with them, play with them, cry with them, hug them, honestly praise them. Yes, regularly spend unrushed one-on-one time with each child. Be a real friend to your children.

Read to Your Children. 

3.  Third, mothers, take time to read to your children. Starting from the cradle, read to your sons and daughters. Remember what the poet said: You may have tangible wealth untold; Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold. Richer than I you can never be— I had a mother who read to me. (Strickland Gillilan, “The Reading Mother.”) 45. You will plant a love for good literature and a real love for the scriptures if you will read to your children regularly.

Pray with Your Children. 

4.  Fourth, take time to pray with your children. Family prayers, under the direction of the father, should be held morning and night. Have your children feel of your faith as you call down the blessings of heaven upon them. Paraphrasing the words of James, “The . . . fervent prayer of a righteous [mother] availeth much” ( James 5:16 ). Have your children participate in family and personal prayers, and rejoice in their sweet utterances to their Father in Heaven.

Have Weekly Home Evenings. 

5.  Fifth, take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening. With your husband presiding, participate in a spiritual and an uplifting home evening each week. Have your children actively involved. Teach them correct principles. Make this one of your great family traditions. Remember the marvelous promise made by President Joseph F. Smith when home evenings were first introduced to the Church: “If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset them” (James R. Clark, comp., Messages of the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 6 vols., 4:339). This wonderful promise is still in effect today.

Be Together at Mealtimes. 

6.  Sixth, take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible. This is a challenge as the children get older and lives get busier. But happy conversation, sharing of the day’s plans and activities, and special teaching moments occur at mealtime because mothers and fathers and children work at it.

Read Scriptures Daily. 

7.  Seventh, take time daily to read the scriptures together as a family. Individual scripture reading is important, but family scripture reading is vital. Reading the Book of Mormon together as a family will especially bring increased spirituality into your home and will give both parents and children the power to resist temptation and to have the Holy Ghost as their constant companion. I promise you that the Book of Mormon will change the lives of your family.

Do Things as a Family. 

8.  Eighth, take time to do things together as a family. Make family outings and picnics and birthday celebrations and trips special times and memory builders. Whenever possible, attend, as a family, events where one of the family members is involved, such as a school play, a ball game, a talk, a recital. Attend church meetings together and sit together as a family when you can. Mothers who help families pray and play together will stay together and will bless children’s lives forever.

Teach Your Children. 

9.  Ninth, mothers, take time to teach your children. Catch the teaching moments. This can be done anytime during the day—at mealtime, in casual settings, or at special sit-down times together, at the 163 Family Foundations Reading Packet foot of the bed at the end of the day, or during an early morning walk together. Mothers, you are your children’s best teacher. Don’t shift this precious responsibility to day-care centers or baby-sitters. A mother’s love and prayerful concern for the children are her most important ingredients in teaching her own. 52. Teach children gospel principles. Teach them it pays to be good. Teach them there is no safety in sin. Teach them a love for the gospel of Jesus Christ and a testimony of its divinity.

Take time to truly love your children.  

10.  Tenth, Mothers,  “Our young people need love and attention, not indulgence,” he added. “They need empathy and understanding, not indifference from mothers and fathers. They need the parents’ time.”

More Diligent and Concerned at Home- David A. Bednar

Reminder to self:  Be Consistant!  

The Importance of Family Vacations

When I was young my parents didn't take many family vacations.
The result is that now that we're older it's very difficult to get everyone to come together.
Maybe people don't see the benefit, or feel it would be awkward.    

Because of this I have made family trips a high priority.

There is something about getting away from everything in our regular world that brings us closer.

Though there was a cost, we never made it too outrageous. 

In fact, most of our trips were road trips. 

This provided an additional time for bonding.  

Yes, sometimes the time spend in the car was stressful, 

but now we laugh at those times.  Believe it or not, they made us closer!

Why such seriousness when it comes to physical intimacy? I love the answers found in "Of Symbols and Sacraments"- Jeffrey R. Holland

So partly in answer to why such seriousness, we answer that one toying with the God-given--and satanically coveted--body of another, toys with the very soul of that individual, toys with the central purpose and product of life, "the very key" to life, as Elder Boyd K. Packer once called it. In trivializing the soul of another (please include the word body there), we trivialize the Atonement that saved that soul and guaranteed its continued existence. And when one toys with the Son of Righteousness, the Day Star himself, one toys with white heat and a flame hotter and holier than the noonday sun. You cannot do so and not be burned. You cannot with impunity "crucify Christ afresh" (see Hebrews 6:6). Exploitation of the body (please include the word soul there) is, in the last analysis, an exploitation of him who is the Light and the Life of the world.

Our soul is what's at stake here--our spirit and our body... The purchase price for our fullness of joy--body and spirit eternally united--is the pure and innocent blood of the Savior of this world. We cannot then say in ignorance or defiance, "Well, it's my life," or worse yet, "It's my body." It is not. "Ye are not your own," Paul said. "Ye are bought with a price." So in answer to the question, "Why does God care so much about sexual transgression?" it is partly because of the precious gift offered by and through his Only Begotten Son to redeem the souls--bodies and spirits--we too often share and abuse in cheap and tawdry ways. Christ restored the very seeds of eternal lives (see D&C132:19, 24), and we desecrate them at our peril. The first key reason for personal purity? Our very souls are involved and at stake.

Second, may I suggest that human intimacy, that sacred, physical union ordained of God for a married couple, deals with a symbol that demands special sanctity. Such an act of love between a man and a woman is--or certainly was ordained to be--a symbol of total union: union of their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future, their everything. It is a symbol that we try to suggest in the temple with a word like seal. The Prophet Joseph Smith once said we perhaps ought to render such a sacred bond as "welding"--that those united in matrimony and eternal families are "welded" together, inseparable if you will, to withstand the temptations of the adversary and the afflictions of mortality. (See D&C 128:18.)

But such a total, virtually unbreakable union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can only come with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage covenant, with the union of all that they possess--their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams. They work together, they cry together, they enjoy Brahms and Beethoven and breakfast together, they sacrifice and save and live together for all the abundance that such a totally intimate life provides such a couple. And the external symbol of that union, the physical manifestation of what is a far deeper spiritual and metaphysical bonding, is the physical blending that is part of--indeed, a most beautiful and gratifying expression of--that larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise.

As delicate as it is to mention in such a setting, I nevertheless trust your maturity to understand that physiologically we are created as men and women to fit together in such a union. In this ultimate physical expression of one man and one woman they are as nearly and as literally "one" as two separate physical bodies can ever be. It is in that act of ultimate physical intimacy we most nearly fulfill the commandment of the Lord given to Adam and Eve, living symbols for all married couples, when he invited them to cleave unto one another only, and thus become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

Obviously, such a commandment to these two, the first husband and wife of the human family, has unlimited implications--social, cultural, and religious as well as physical--but that is exactly my point. As all couples come to that moment of bonding in mortality, it is to be just such a complete union. That commandment cannot be fulfilled, and that symbolism of "one flesh" cannot be preserved, if we hastily and guiltily and surreptitiously share intimacy in a darkened corner of a darkened hour, then just as hastily and guiltily and surreptitiously retreat to our separate worlds--not to eat or live or cry or laugh together, not to do the laundry and the dishes and the homework, not to manage a budget and pay the bills and tend the children and plan together for the future. No, we cannot do that until we are truly one--united, bound, linked, tied, welded, sealed, married.

My Favorite Family Flick

If you haven't seen Dan In Real Life, you must!  

Here's what I love about this movie:

It shows a family come together, in a family reunion setting.  

The family is full of love in a traditional family way.

The parents are in love, they have harmony.

The conflicts are true to life.

It's FUNNY!  Which is a must, because it makes life within families comical, but still sacred.

There is great pain, and great joy in this family...Opposition. 

The music is good.

It's heart warming and even my kids love it.

Just trust me, you will love it!
 (In fact, I think I'm going to watch it again right now!)

Protection in the Family- L. Tom Perry

It's Just My Nature

I'm including this book because I love books that explore different personality types.  

The thing I love about this book is that I can actually see these personalities in my family.

Understanding more about personalities helps me to appreciate natural strengths,
and also appreciate  what I might consider weakness in people.
I've learned that some things that we view as weaknesses, are actually strengths.
Thank heavens we're not all the same!    

The Power of Covenants- D. Todd Christofferson

"We enter into covenants by priesthood ordinances, sacred rituals that God has ordained for us to manifest our commitment. Our foundational covenant, for example, the one in which we first pledge our willingness to take upon us the name of Christ, is confirmed by the ordinance of baptism. It is done individually, by name. By this ordinance, we become part of the covenant people of the Lord and heirs of the celestial kingdom of God."

"When we have entered into divine covenants, the Holy Ghost is our comforter, our guide, and our companion. The fruits of the Holy Spirit are “the peaceable things of immortal glory; the truth of all things; that which quickeneth all things, which maketh alive all things; that which knoweth all things, and hath all power according to wisdom, mercy, truth, justice, and judgment”. The gifts of the Holy Spirit are testimony, faith, knowledge, wisdom, revelations, miracles, healing, and charity, to name but a few." 

Two Great Books that will strengthen family relationships

These two books helped me so much at a very difficult time in my marriage.  

Whatever it takes to help marriage be the best it can be, do it!!  

Expressions of Love

Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan- David A. Bednar

Two compelling doctrinal reasons help us to understand why eternal marriage is essential to the Father’s plan.

Reason 1: The natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other, and therefore men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation.

Reason 2: By divine design, both a man and a woman are needed to bring children into mortality and to provide the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children.

How to Hug a Teenage Porcupine

This is a CD for families that I can listen to over and over.  

It's not just good for teens, it's good for all relationships.  

One of my favorite quotes is "Take your frustrations to the Lord and your love to your family."

This counsel has helped me so much with all of my family relationships. 

You won't regret the time spent listening to this three-talk set.