The key to strengthening our families is having the
Spirit of the Lord come into our homes.
The goal of our
families is to be on the strait and narrow path.
Countless things can be done within the walls of our
homes to strengthen the family. May I share a few ideas
that may help identify the areas that need strengthening
in our own families. I offer them in a spirit of
encouragement, knowing that each family—and each
family member—is unique.
• Make our homes a safe place where each family
member feels love and a sense of belonging. Realize
that each child has varying gifts and abilities; each is
an individual requiring special love and care.
• Remember, “a soft answer turneth away wrath”
(Prov. 15:1). When my sweetheart and I were sealed
in the Salt Lake Temple, Elder Harold B. Lee gave us
wise counsel: “When you raise your voice in anger,
the Spirit departs from your home.” We must never,
out of anger, lock the door of our home or our heart
to our children. Like the prodigal son, our children
need to know that when they come to themselves they
can turn to us for love and counsel.
• Spend individual time with our children, letting
them choose the activity and the subject of
conversation. Block out distractions.
• Encourage our children’s private religious behavior,
such as personal prayer, personal scripture study,
and fasting for specific needs. Measure their spiritual
growth by observing their demeanor, language, and
conduct toward others.
• Pray daily with our children.
• Read the scriptures together. I remember my own
mother and father reading the scriptures as we
children sat on the floor and listened. Sometimes they
would ask, “What does that scripture mean to you?”
or “How does it make you feel?” Then they would
listen to us as we responded in our own words.
• Read the words of the living prophets and other
inspiring articles for children, youth, and adults in
Church magazines.
• We can fill our homes with the sound of worthy
music as we sing together from the hymnbook and
the Children’s Songbook.
• Hold family home evening every week. As parents,
we are sometimes too intimidated to teach or testify
to our children. I have been guilty of that in my own
life. Our children need to have us share spiritual
feelings with them and to teach and bear testimony to
them.
• Hold family councils to discuss family plans and
concerns. Some of the most effective family councils
are one on one with each family member. Help our
children know their ideas are important. Listen to
them and learn from them.
• Invite missionaries to teach less-active or
nonmember friends in our homes.
• Show that we sustain and support Church leaders.
• Eat together when possible, and have meaningful
mealtime discussions.
• Work together as a family, even if it may be faster
and easier to do the job ourselves. Talk with our
sons and daughters as we work together. I had that
opportunity every Saturday with my father.
• Help our children learn how to build good
friendships and make their friends feel welcome in
our homes. Get to know the parents of the friends of
our children.
• Teach our children by example how to budget time
and resources. Help them learn self-reliance and the
importance of preparing for the future.
• Teach our children the history of our ancestors and
of our own family history.
• Build family traditions. Plan and carry out
meaningful vacations together, considering our
children’s needs, talents, and abilities. Help them
create happy memories, improve their talents, and
build their feelings of self-worth.
• By word and example, teach moral values and a
commitment to obeying the commandments.
• After my baptism and confirmation, my mother
drew me aside and asked, “What do you feel?” I
described as best I could the warm feeling of peace,
comfort, and happiness I had. Mother explained that
what I was feeling was the gift I had just received,
the gift of the Holy Ghost. She told me that if I
lived worthy of it, I would have that gift with me
continually. That was a teaching moment that has
Family Foundations Reading Packet 182
lived with me all my life.
16. Teach our children the significance of baptism and
confirmation, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost,
partaking of the sacrament, honoring the priesthood,
and making and keeping temple covenants. They need
to know the importance of living worthy of a temple
recommend and preparing for a temple marriage.
• If you have not yet been sealed in the temple to your
spouse or children, work as a family to receive temple
blessings. Set temple goals as a family.
• Be worthy of the priesthood which you hold, brethren,
and use it to bless the lives of your family.
• Through the power of the Melchizedek Priesthood,
dedicate our homes.
17. Resources are available outside the home. Wise use of
them will strengthen our families.
• Encourage our children to serve in the Church and
community.
• Talk to our children’s teachers, coaches, counselors,
advisers, and Church leaders about our concerns and
the needs of our children.
• Know what our children are doing in their spare
time. Influence their choice of movies, television
programs, and videos. If they are on the Internet,
know what they are doing. Help them see the
importance of wholesome entertainment.
• Encourage worthwhile school activities. Know
what our children are studying. Help them with
their homework. Help them realize the importance
of education and of preparing for employment and
self-sufficiency.
• Young women: Attend Relief Society when you reach
your 18th birthday. Some of you may be reluctant
to make that transition. You may fear that you won’t
fit in. My young sisters, this is not the case. There is
much in Relief Society for you. It can be a blessing to
you throughout your life.
• Young men: Honor the Aaronic Priesthood. It is
the preparatory priesthood, preparing you for the
Melchizedek Priesthood. Become fully active in
the elders quorum when you are ordained to the
Melchizedek Priesthood. The brotherhood, the
quorum instruction, and the opportunities to serve
others will bless you and your family throughout
your life.
18. Every family can be strengthened in one way or
another if the Spirit of the Lord is brought into our
homes and we teach by His example.
• Act with faith; don’t react with fear. When our
teenagers begin testing family values, parents need to
go to the Lord for guidance on the specific needs of
each family member. This is the time for added love
and support and to reinforce your teachings on how
to make choices. It is frightening to allow our children
to learn from the mistakes they may make, but their
willingness to choose the Lord’s way and family values
is greater when the choice comes from within than
when we attempt to force those values upon them.
The Lord’s way of love and acceptance is better than
Satan’s way of force and coercion, especially in rearing
teenagers.
• Remember the Prophet Joseph Smith’s words:
“Nothing is so much calculated to lead people to
forsake sin as to take them by the hand, and watch
over them with tenderness. When persons manifest
the least kindness and love to me, what power it
has over my mind, while the opposite course has
a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and
depress the human mind” (Teachings of the Prophet
Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 240).
• While we may despair when, after all we can
do, some of our children stray from the path of
righteousness, the words of Orson F. Whitney can
comfort us: “Though some of the sheep may wander,
the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or
later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence
reaching out after them and drawing them back to the
fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will
return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they
will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path;
but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal,
to a loving and forgiving [mother’s and] father’s
heart and home, the painful experience will not have
been in vain. Pray for [our] careless and disobedient
children; hold on to them with [our] faith. Hope on,
trust on, till you see the salvation of God” (Orson F.
Whitney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, 110).
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